You must'a' took a whole hour just to make up your face, baby.
Finally managed to ride the bus today in my effort to conserve gas and avoid paying $30 every week to fill up the tank of my Honda Civic. I tell ya', it's a funny experience, riding the bus in San Diego. Basically nobody rides the bus unless they absolutely have to. It's so inconvenient - people who ride the bus are generally those who can't afford cars or who are unemployed, etc. Many of them are Mexican immigrants, most would rather be anywhere else. But somethin' in me likes riding the bus. There are so many interesting characters (a couple of which I ran into today) that populate the #41 from Fashion Valley to UCSD. Here's are a few of my favorites (keep in mind, my relationship with these people is one of a spectator only; for only one of them do I have a real name):
Cowboy Jim: This guy is one weird duck. He gets on the bus, oh, three or four blocks from where I pick it up and rides precisely two stops. He does this EVERY TIME. I call him "Cowboy Jim" because he looks exactly like the paradigmatic old cowboy in Hollywood westerns: long white beard, grizzled looking visage. Also he wears this black vinyl cowboy hat (in addition to, no matter what the weather, a very thick winter coat). My only interaction (alluded to before) with him was one point during the 30 or so seconds he's actually on the bus, I was sitting in the front and he happened to shift (he was standing right over me). From somewhere on his person came a bunch of cigarette ash, which landed on the lid of my newly purchased cup of coffee. Man, I was pissed at Cowboy Jim that day.
Mr. Itchy: Mr. Itchy has some serious demons to work out. I'm not quite sure what his pathology is, but it's a major one. He sits there in his chair, pleasantly rocking back and forth; nothing too odd. All of a sudden, he'll violently jerk his hand up to his head and start scratching incredibly forcefully and vigorously. During all this scratching, he has an incredibly disappointed look on his face, and takes that disappointment out on his hand immediately after he stops scratching by biting it extremely hard. This process repeats itself every minute-and-a-half or so. I don't like riding with Mr. Itchy much. Makes me feel a little strange.
Plastic Man: Plastic Man is, as far as I can tell, completely mentally aware, but he is always wearing the same outfit and dragging several huge packages full of plastic bags with him. I mean huge. They take up at least his whole seat and the aisle whenever he's sitting there. He also, I'm sure, has plastic bags taped underneath his shirt (which is the same every single day). Gets on and off at the same place every day, but it's very strange that the size of the plastic bag bundles never seems to increase or decrease. I would think that if this guy were homeless and were saving plastic bags for the recycling money, he'd have good days, bad days, etc., i.e., that the size of the packages would vary. Not so. I wonder if he treats these merely as his belongings and carries them everywhere. If so, maybe he's not totally aware.
Bob and the Pirate: Bob and the Pirate come as a pair. Actually, the two monikers refer to the same guy; there's a guy named Bob who always wears a Pittsburg Pirates hat. His partner I don't have a solid nickname for, so I've just given him the name "Bob", mostly because he's constantly yelling: "Bob! Look over there at x!" These guys seem to be friends, they appear to look after each other, but it's weird. They're like a mentally challenged old married couple. They constantly bicker on the bus about meaningless stuff, when Bob isn't annoying another passenger with renditions of old Kingston Trio songs. (His favorite is the one about the guy who gets trapped on the subway because he doesn't have the exit fare.) The Pirate actually appears to live in my apartment complex - or he could just be wandering around my building aimlessly, which I wouldn't rule out.
There are several other interesting characters that are on the bus on a one-off basis only. These guys are regulars. They make the ride on the bus somewhat interesting, but for some people who aren't exactly open minded (like me on some days) they make riding the bus a bit of a chore. There are a few others that appear occasionally, but these are all the dudes for whom I have nicknames (or names at all).
Cowboy Jim: This guy is one weird duck. He gets on the bus, oh, three or four blocks from where I pick it up and rides precisely two stops. He does this EVERY TIME. I call him "Cowboy Jim" because he looks exactly like the paradigmatic old cowboy in Hollywood westerns: long white beard, grizzled looking visage. Also he wears this black vinyl cowboy hat (in addition to, no matter what the weather, a very thick winter coat). My only interaction (alluded to before) with him was one point during the 30 or so seconds he's actually on the bus, I was sitting in the front and he happened to shift (he was standing right over me). From somewhere on his person came a bunch of cigarette ash, which landed on the lid of my newly purchased cup of coffee. Man, I was pissed at Cowboy Jim that day.
Mr. Itchy: Mr. Itchy has some serious demons to work out. I'm not quite sure what his pathology is, but it's a major one. He sits there in his chair, pleasantly rocking back and forth; nothing too odd. All of a sudden, he'll violently jerk his hand up to his head and start scratching incredibly forcefully and vigorously. During all this scratching, he has an incredibly disappointed look on his face, and takes that disappointment out on his hand immediately after he stops scratching by biting it extremely hard. This process repeats itself every minute-and-a-half or so. I don't like riding with Mr. Itchy much. Makes me feel a little strange.
Plastic Man: Plastic Man is, as far as I can tell, completely mentally aware, but he is always wearing the same outfit and dragging several huge packages full of plastic bags with him. I mean huge. They take up at least his whole seat and the aisle whenever he's sitting there. He also, I'm sure, has plastic bags taped underneath his shirt (which is the same every single day). Gets on and off at the same place every day, but it's very strange that the size of the plastic bag bundles never seems to increase or decrease. I would think that if this guy were homeless and were saving plastic bags for the recycling money, he'd have good days, bad days, etc., i.e., that the size of the packages would vary. Not so. I wonder if he treats these merely as his belongings and carries them everywhere. If so, maybe he's not totally aware.
Bob and the Pirate: Bob and the Pirate come as a pair. Actually, the two monikers refer to the same guy; there's a guy named Bob who always wears a Pittsburg Pirates hat. His partner I don't have a solid nickname for, so I've just given him the name "Bob", mostly because he's constantly yelling: "Bob! Look over there at x!" These guys seem to be friends, they appear to look after each other, but it's weird. They're like a mentally challenged old married couple. They constantly bicker on the bus about meaningless stuff, when Bob isn't annoying another passenger with renditions of old Kingston Trio songs. (His favorite is the one about the guy who gets trapped on the subway because he doesn't have the exit fare.) The Pirate actually appears to live in my apartment complex - or he could just be wandering around my building aimlessly, which I wouldn't rule out.
There are several other interesting characters that are on the bus on a one-off basis only. These guys are regulars. They make the ride on the bus somewhat interesting, but for some people who aren't exactly open minded (like me on some days) they make riding the bus a bit of a chore. There are a few others that appear occasionally, but these are all the dudes for whom I have nicknames (or names at all).
posted by dd0031 at 2:24 PM
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