Homo Sapiens have outlived their use.

So anyone who knows me more than reasonably well knows that I'm a little superstitious. Actually, incredibly superstitious. You know, now that I think about it, for a guy who ostensibly believes in rational argument, proof, naturalism, yada yada yada, I'm really incredibly, unnaturally superstitious.

Especially when it comes to the doctor's office. I mean, look, superstition when it comes to games, or sports, or good grades, or whatever, that's one thing. But when the doctor is involved, you just don't screw around, people. Once a precedent is set, you go with it. Do not deviate. For example, since I've been to the doctor's office nine times in the last two months, I have built myself up into a nice set of rountines that well, are absolutely essential to my health and well-being. Here's something of a rundown.

1. No phone calls the day of the appointment until after the appointment is over.
2. Always take the same (or roughly the same route) to the office. To Hillcrest, it's 30th, University, Washington. I don't even want to think about what would happen if I took Pershing, the 5, Washington. Chills. At SHS, always enter by the West door, never the East door!! This is crucial.
3. Always listen to the same song on your iPod while walking from car to office. This is crucial. If iPod is unavailable, it is essential to hum said song, although this is not ideal. I'm not going to tell you what the song is, lest I be made fun of mercilessly.
4. Always listen to the same song on your iPod while walking back from the office. This is to ensure safe passage from the last doctor's appointment to the next one. This is especially important if it was a good appointment. Again, no dice on what the song is. This is the least crucial one, of course, because the appointment has already past. But it enhances the effects of complying with the other demands.

And fuck you people who say that these things don't mean anything because I finally got my clean bill of health today, FUCKERZZZ!! (Knocking on wood.) Apparently, my --------iogram turned out perfectly normal. The ticker is, as they say, not perfect but workable.

Sweet. Hopefully the number of doctor's appointments in my future will decrease considerably.

I don't want to even think about what would have happened had I taken the 5. Bullet dodged, baby. Bullet dodged.