You wish you could sex her.

It appears that I'm getting shitfaced alone while grading finals. This is both liberating and sad. Liberating because it's making the grading a lot more fun. Sad because it's something my former roomate would have done.

Whaddya gonna do? The Anchor Steam is calling.

Anybody wanna join me? You know my number.

Personally, I think this is unrealiable, but whaddya gonna do?

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

A Poem

Christmas Reflections


Slick Nick stole the reindeer
from the zoo;
He fell down my chimney
with a keg of brew;
Put my dog out in the cold
Ripped of the candy from my socks
Smokin' cloves
and drinkin' scotch.

Slick Nick, you devil you.

Dressed in red
and overweight to boot
Stole the TV
and the stereo
and the toys were broken, too.

You devil you.

I saw Slick Nick fall over
the Christmas Tree
He was a whole different man from
what Mom and Dad told me;
Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes
Spray painted a bad finger over the fireplace
Tattoos on his arms and knees
I never thought Santa Claus
would be such a sleaze.

Slick Nick, you devil you.

Cussin' and coughin'
and playin' punk rock
And every once in a while
you just scratch your jock
Hey Slick Nick, where are my toys?
You went drinkin' with the boys.
You put Mad Dog in my sock
I wanted candy.
I thought you were my buddy and chum
But you're just a downtown bum.
Instead of puttin' presents in front of my eyes,
You just told me
a bunch of lies.

Slick Nick, you devil you.

Copyright 2002 by Maurice Leiter

Hmm.

Wow.