It fills me with the hope to wish impossible things.
Q: How does one get completely shitfaced on two beers?
That was me last night. To quote Harry Carey, holy freakin' cow.
It started off with, of all personages, David Lynch. You know, the Blue Velvet guy. The Twin Peaks guy. He was giving a lecture at UCSD, so I decided to attend. Little did I know, however, that this lecture was little more than a way to shill for his new, ahem, philanthropic foundation: The David Lynch Center for Global Consciousness Education and World Peace. No shit. I am not making this up. The dude apparently is so far into transcendental meditation, that he has set up some kind of society for it, doling out cash to poor schools in order to get kids to meditate a couple of times a day. He had a couple of "scientists" along for the ride, apparently claiming that this meditation stuff wasn't just a bunch of hocum (which it obviously was, more on that later). Anyway, there were two faculty members, one from cognitive neuroscience, the other from physics, of the Maharshi University of Management. I am not making this up either. I don't know where the Maharshi University of Management is, or what it is, but, lemme tell ya', I'm pretty sure it ain't Johns Hopkins. In addition to which, the physicist also had listed on his little mini-bio that he was the, and I'm not kidding about this either, "Minister of Science and Technology for the Global Country of World Peace."
Let me say that again.
The Minister of Science and Technology for the Global Country of World Peace.
That's right. A country. A Global country. A Global Country of World Peace.
Talk about a bullshit, pretentious title. Here's what's going on my CV from now on: "Prime Minister and Defender of the Faith for the Global Country of Rock and Roll Will Never Die."
As long as I'm at it, I'm going to add this website to the Crackpot List.
Anyway, as soon as I see all this stuff on the program, I start thinking: this sucks. It's going to be a serious bunch of crap. But I was initially heartened because basically David Lynch came out and said: "I have no prepared speech. I'll just take questions for an hour or so." And he did. But somehow he found a way to turn the answer to every question back into the search for expanded consciousness through transcendental meditation. Although he did say that he still hates Dune. I got up in line to ask a question at one point. My question was going to be something like: "They say that you get ten directors to direct the same script and you'll end up with ten completely different movies. I'm imagining, say, a director like Hitchcock doing Mulholland Drive - it would be tightly plotted, etc., still a nice work of art, but different. What leads you to do movies your way, by emphasizing abstraction and slight-of-hand?" The subtext of which was: "WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE MOVIES I CAN UNDERSTAND?" Although I had to get out of line when the guy two questions ahead of me asked: "WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE MOVIES I CAN UNDERSTAND?" Took away my slightly more politically informed thunder.
A: By not eating anything all day.
So with all this DL business, I forgot to eat dinner. Which caused me to get a little too drunk at the afterparty. I do remember playing a pretty sweet practical joke on The Turtle, though, which was basically the highlight of the evening. I remember talking loudly to strangers. And basically everything else is something of a haze. Which is bad, I suppose. I remember getting home rather late - I didn't drive, but was in a car with Math Rock, The Turtle, and Money Changes Everything. I mean, this is bad. As I sit here, I basically can't remember anything worth commenting on. Well, shit. Screw this. See you jerks later.
That was me last night. To quote Harry Carey, holy freakin' cow.
It started off with, of all personages, David Lynch. You know, the Blue Velvet guy. The Twin Peaks guy. He was giving a lecture at UCSD, so I decided to attend. Little did I know, however, that this lecture was little more than a way to shill for his new, ahem, philanthropic foundation: The David Lynch Center for Global Consciousness Education and World Peace. No shit. I am not making this up. The dude apparently is so far into transcendental meditation, that he has set up some kind of society for it, doling out cash to poor schools in order to get kids to meditate a couple of times a day. He had a couple of "scientists" along for the ride, apparently claiming that this meditation stuff wasn't just a bunch of hocum (which it obviously was, more on that later). Anyway, there were two faculty members, one from cognitive neuroscience, the other from physics, of the Maharshi University of Management. I am not making this up either. I don't know where the Maharshi University of Management is, or what it is, but, lemme tell ya', I'm pretty sure it ain't Johns Hopkins. In addition to which, the physicist also had listed on his little mini-bio that he was the, and I'm not kidding about this either, "Minister of Science and Technology for the Global Country of World Peace."
Let me say that again.
The Minister of Science and Technology for the Global Country of World Peace.
That's right. A country. A Global country. A Global Country of World Peace.
Talk about a bullshit, pretentious title. Here's what's going on my CV from now on: "Prime Minister and Defender of the Faith for the Global Country of Rock and Roll Will Never Die."
As long as I'm at it, I'm going to add this website to the Crackpot List.
Anyway, as soon as I see all this stuff on the program, I start thinking: this sucks. It's going to be a serious bunch of crap. But I was initially heartened because basically David Lynch came out and said: "I have no prepared speech. I'll just take questions for an hour or so." And he did. But somehow he found a way to turn the answer to every question back into the search for expanded consciousness through transcendental meditation. Although he did say that he still hates Dune. I got up in line to ask a question at one point. My question was going to be something like: "They say that you get ten directors to direct the same script and you'll end up with ten completely different movies. I'm imagining, say, a director like Hitchcock doing Mulholland Drive - it would be tightly plotted, etc., still a nice work of art, but different. What leads you to do movies your way, by emphasizing abstraction and slight-of-hand?" The subtext of which was: "WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE MOVIES I CAN UNDERSTAND?" Although I had to get out of line when the guy two questions ahead of me asked: "WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE MOVIES I CAN UNDERSTAND?" Took away my slightly more politically informed thunder.
A: By not eating anything all day.
So with all this DL business, I forgot to eat dinner. Which caused me to get a little too drunk at the afterparty. I do remember playing a pretty sweet practical joke on The Turtle, though, which was basically the highlight of the evening. I remember talking loudly to strangers. And basically everything else is something of a haze. Which is bad, I suppose. I remember getting home rather late - I didn't drive, but was in a car with Math Rock, The Turtle, and Money Changes Everything. I mean, this is bad. As I sit here, I basically can't remember anything worth commenting on. Well, shit. Screw this. See you jerks later.
posted by dd0031 at 1:10 AM
2 Comments:
Yeah, my memory towards the end of the evening there is quite a bit hazy.
I don't remember any practical joke, either.
I think I do remember you singing showtunes.
Those weren't just "showtunes". Those were Gilbert and Sullivan, man. I was the very model of a modern major badass.
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