And right above her kidney was a bird's-eye view of Sydney.
Oklahoma City.
Land of Cowboys, The Cowboys (apparently), The Flaming Lips, and endless stretches of unused land.
And my grandfather, which is why I spent the last four days there.
It was a decent-ish trip; I got to see some relatives that I haven't seen in a long time - mostly my Mom's sisters and their families. I don't see family all that much, so it was fun, generally speaking, until one of my aunt's (she's a little on the oblivious side) put in a CD of old music they used to listen to, and before you could say: "I will have the 20-ounce steak!" everybody was crying. Including my grandfather, which is a pretty sad sight, if it's the first time you've ever seen it.
The best part of the actual visit was getting to hang out with my PowerMac bearing uncle, and swapping music back and forth on peer-to-peer networks. It was great. He gave me Tom Waits' classic records ("Heart of Saturday Night" and "Mule Variations"), and "Speaking in Tongues" by the Talking Heads!! "Speaking in Tongues"!! I've been looking for that for a long time, and have just been slightly unwilling to shell out the $12.99 for it. But now I gots it fer free!! I also got another Dire Straits record, and The Best of the Blues Brothers, a record I used to listen to a lot my first year in college. Lots of cool pep band songs on that record.
The most interesting thing that happened is that my mom got a little sick - apparently it was a reaction to a flu shot. So she decided that, though I had a plane ticket for Saturday, she was going to leave on Friday to go to the doctor back home. Reasonable enough. But that left me with a slight conundrum: what to do after she left? The rest of the family was going home, and my flight on Saturday was early enough that I didn't want my 80-year-old grandfather to have to get up and take me. So after doing a goodly amount of cursing at the American Airlines people for not being able to switch a flight, I booked a hotel for Friday night, and checked in at around 3:15 or so Friday afternoon. The plan was to get work done, but my brain was having none of it. I was ostensibly staying at a Ramada Inn, but this was crappier than any Ramada at which I've ever stayed. My room was freezing when I went in, and, after checking the HBO lineup for the night, decided that I would have to seek alternative means of entertainment.
But, as luck would have it, there appeared to be a mall just about 200 yards from the back of the Hotel. Reasoning that malls generally speaking have some sort of bookshop, I thought I might buy myself a tawdry mystery or thriller or something like that to pass the time. Now, there's definitely a phenomenon in multi-mall towns. This was definitely the bad mall. This is Bannister Mall in Kansas City. Mountaineer Mall in Morgantown. The place where you go, well, never, really, unless there's some clear and present reason. And I think my boredom counted as clear and present. I mean, this mall, wow. There were at least two storefronts (whole stores) that were JUST to get out of debt - you know, consolidate credit cards, and that sort of thing. One was specializing in auto loans, so it had a miniture racetrack drawn on the linoleum floor.
Waldenbooks they had. And, frankly, it was a pretty decent Waldenbooks. However, they appear, at that Waldenbooks, to be Robert Jordan crazy. I mean, nutty. Robert Jordan was everywhere. You've never lived until you've heard someone with a North Texas/Oklahoma drawl tell someone else with a similar drawl: "I'm lookin' fer book 12 in the Wheel of Time series. Is it out yeat?" Ugh. It was quite an eye-opener. Anyway, I found a tawdry thriller and decided to walk back to the Hotel. As I did, however, I noticed a restaurant in the mall, a Burger joint by the looks of it that had a sign out front. But before I tell you what the sign says, I have to go on a brief digression.
BEGIN BRIEF DIGRESSION
People in Oklahoma City are fat. They're fat. I don't say that to smear them. They probably like it that way. But I saw more obese people in OKC in four days that I've seen in the past six months living out in California. I don't know what it is - the Cowboy Culture, or some other such thing, that tells them they need to chow down on steak deep fried in Chocolate Sauce every meal of their lives. Perhaps I exaggerate. But there were some serious fat people. And a lot of them. The only group of adults that I saw together that was generally slim was in the security line for the airport waiting to leave the city.
END BRIEF DIGRESSION
The sign, which might help to explain the content of the digression, said the following: "Every Day! All You Can Eat Burgers and Fries! All day long! $5.00! (With purchase of large drink)".
FIVE DOLLARS FOR UNSTOPPABLE BURGERS FOR AN ENTIRE DAY???? AND FRIES!! WOW! No wonder people in OKC are tubs. They sit in places like Wiggee's Burgers and don't stop eating until the place closes. For five stinkin' bucks. With, of course, the purchase of a large drink. Because after having eaten an entire side of beef, one has to have something to wash it down with.
Well, that was my weekend. Family and lard. I tried to have soup most of the time, but I do confess to failing at least once.
Land of Cowboys, The Cowboys (apparently), The Flaming Lips, and endless stretches of unused land.
And my grandfather, which is why I spent the last four days there.
It was a decent-ish trip; I got to see some relatives that I haven't seen in a long time - mostly my Mom's sisters and their families. I don't see family all that much, so it was fun, generally speaking, until one of my aunt's (she's a little on the oblivious side) put in a CD of old music they used to listen to, and before you could say: "I will have the 20-ounce steak!" everybody was crying. Including my grandfather, which is a pretty sad sight, if it's the first time you've ever seen it.
The best part of the actual visit was getting to hang out with my PowerMac bearing uncle, and swapping music back and forth on peer-to-peer networks. It was great. He gave me Tom Waits' classic records ("Heart of Saturday Night" and "Mule Variations"), and "Speaking in Tongues" by the Talking Heads!! "Speaking in Tongues"!! I've been looking for that for a long time, and have just been slightly unwilling to shell out the $12.99 for it. But now I gots it fer free!! I also got another Dire Straits record, and The Best of the Blues Brothers, a record I used to listen to a lot my first year in college. Lots of cool pep band songs on that record.
The most interesting thing that happened is that my mom got a little sick - apparently it was a reaction to a flu shot. So she decided that, though I had a plane ticket for Saturday, she was going to leave on Friday to go to the doctor back home. Reasonable enough. But that left me with a slight conundrum: what to do after she left? The rest of the family was going home, and my flight on Saturday was early enough that I didn't want my 80-year-old grandfather to have to get up and take me. So after doing a goodly amount of cursing at the American Airlines people for not being able to switch a flight, I booked a hotel for Friday night, and checked in at around 3:15 or so Friday afternoon. The plan was to get work done, but my brain was having none of it. I was ostensibly staying at a Ramada Inn, but this was crappier than any Ramada at which I've ever stayed. My room was freezing when I went in, and, after checking the HBO lineup for the night, decided that I would have to seek alternative means of entertainment.
But, as luck would have it, there appeared to be a mall just about 200 yards from the back of the Hotel. Reasoning that malls generally speaking have some sort of bookshop, I thought I might buy myself a tawdry mystery or thriller or something like that to pass the time. Now, there's definitely a phenomenon in multi-mall towns. This was definitely the bad mall. This is Bannister Mall in Kansas City. Mountaineer Mall in Morgantown. The place where you go, well, never, really, unless there's some clear and present reason. And I think my boredom counted as clear and present. I mean, this mall, wow. There were at least two storefronts (whole stores) that were JUST to get out of debt - you know, consolidate credit cards, and that sort of thing. One was specializing in auto loans, so it had a miniture racetrack drawn on the linoleum floor.
Waldenbooks they had. And, frankly, it was a pretty decent Waldenbooks. However, they appear, at that Waldenbooks, to be Robert Jordan crazy. I mean, nutty. Robert Jordan was everywhere. You've never lived until you've heard someone with a North Texas/Oklahoma drawl tell someone else with a similar drawl: "I'm lookin' fer book 12 in the Wheel of Time series. Is it out yeat?" Ugh. It was quite an eye-opener. Anyway, I found a tawdry thriller and decided to walk back to the Hotel. As I did, however, I noticed a restaurant in the mall, a Burger joint by the looks of it that had a sign out front. But before I tell you what the sign says, I have to go on a brief digression.
BEGIN BRIEF DIGRESSION
People in Oklahoma City are fat. They're fat. I don't say that to smear them. They probably like it that way. But I saw more obese people in OKC in four days that I've seen in the past six months living out in California. I don't know what it is - the Cowboy Culture, or some other such thing, that tells them they need to chow down on steak deep fried in Chocolate Sauce every meal of their lives. Perhaps I exaggerate. But there were some serious fat people. And a lot of them. The only group of adults that I saw together that was generally slim was in the security line for the airport waiting to leave the city.
END BRIEF DIGRESSION
The sign, which might help to explain the content of the digression, said the following: "Every Day! All You Can Eat Burgers and Fries! All day long! $5.00! (With purchase of large drink)".
FIVE DOLLARS FOR UNSTOPPABLE BURGERS FOR AN ENTIRE DAY???? AND FRIES!! WOW! No wonder people in OKC are tubs. They sit in places like Wiggee's Burgers and don't stop eating until the place closes. For five stinkin' bucks. With, of course, the purchase of a large drink. Because after having eaten an entire side of beef, one has to have something to wash it down with.
Well, that was my weekend. Family and lard. I tried to have soup most of the time, but I do confess to failing at least once.
posted by dd0031 at 3:40 PM
2 Comments:
hey the last crappy hotel i stayed at was a ramada, too! the toilet kept failing me, my room had temp issues and my credit card did not coincide with their credit card system.
Speaking of chowing down and first year of college, did you know that Big Daddy died?
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